Subject: Not Alone

When I sat down on my 14 hour plane flight, I overheard a Caucasian woman across the aisle say to an African American guy and another Caucasian guy next to me, something in reference to a prophecy in Scripture.  Not afraid to show I was eavesdropping, I asked the guy next to me if they were Christian.  Indeed they were from a local body touching bases with their contacts abroad.  I shared what I was doing and for some reason I highlighted the fact that, “I always go alone.”  

“Why did I say that?” I wondered.  Was I sad?  Was I proud?  Was I just stating the obvious fact?  Just this month two people told me I should consider taking someone with me.  I for sure will never go to a foreign city without having someone there to receive me.  That is my protocol.  But I had decided that on this trip I would create spaces of freedom for myself to operate and though I knew I was welcome into previous home stays, I would this time try not to fit into stressful family situations as I had tried to do in the past.  This meant it would include long periods of time when I will be living on my own, relying only on the Lord and my previous experiences to guide me.    

The plane ride went relatively smoothly, then upon arriving into customs, I was stopped because of the two new iPhones I was bringing in, requests from Chinese friends.  The service people very nicely apologized for the inconvenience but told me I would have to pay a 10% tax to bring them in.  That would be $185 USD or 1160 RMB.  I did not bring that much cash, but gave them my Chinese bank account debit card because they said an American card wouldn’t do.  Unfortunately their credit card swiper would not take my card.  I had to go outside the terminal to find an ATM machine that would take my Chinese bank card.  Fortunately I was successful and an hour later, after paying the tax, was able to snatch the iPhones back.  

After catching a cab for myself I realized my Chinese phone service was not working and I had been relying on it to make my first contact to my landlord and to my friend Rose as I had done in the past.  I scrambled to  try and acquire phone service but the requirements to input my 17-digit password were not at my fingertips.  I asked the cab driver to take me to the area of my new home and help me to find a hotel so I could use their wi-fi.  He impatiently dropped me off at the Ramada Inn where the front desk was nice enough to give me access once I told them my story.  

I was finally able to make contact with my landlord and she and her husband were willing to pick me up and take me to the 1 bedroom apartment she is renting to me for a few weeks.  Since she had an infant in the car, the tour was quick and she handed off 3 keys to the 3 doors I would have to use:  the outer building gate, the inner unit door which consisted of two separate apartments, and my bedroom door which is a separate locked room across the hall from my kitchen and toilet which although private, nevertheless is in the way of the exit path for my neighbors so I would have to keep the doors relatively closed in order to have my privacy.  

My landlord then said they could drive me over to the gym to show me where it was and I could walk back since it wasn’t far.  I thought that was a good idea since the gym is so important for my use every morning.  After being dropped off, and walking back a couple of blocks in the direction I came from and upon turning on to my street, I was struck by how many gates looked exactly like mine.  I tried my key on one and it opened but I was sure that was not the same place.  After trying a few more gates I finally got to the one that was mine.  It was now 9:30pm and 40 degree weather.  As I tried the key to my unit I saw that it turned but the door would not open.  I tried in every which way before realizing I was stuck.  I had not brought out my cell phone which was not working anyway.  I had no way of contacting my landlord and did not know where they lived.  I only had some money in my pocket, left over from paying the iPhone tax.  

I flagged down a cab and asked the driver to take me to my good friend Rose’s house who I was trying not to bother too much while I was here.  Her gate man who knows me to be Rose’s younger sister greeted me warmly and called Rose down.  With somewhat of a scolding voice Rose asked what the heck I was doing? why don’t I just stay at her house?  

When I told her what happened she looked wearily at me and told me to come upstairs.  Trying to log in to an American email address from a foreign computer in China was quite challenging, and in each case it demanded sending a text to my US cell phone which I did not have and which was not working anyway.  After 10 minutes of exhausting options Rose and Jianmin finally told me they would take me back and try my key on the door.  It worked!  I didn’t dare take a shower because it was much too cold but settled immediately into bed where I was able to get a good 6 hours of much needed sleep.

The next morning I got up before 6am to use the restroom, only to come back to my bedroom door and find that it was locked shut.  “Couldn’t be, I thought…”  I tried the door frantically, praying, pacing, knocking on the door of the neighbor who characteristic of Chinese in a big city, need to ignore crazy people who would do such things.  It was cold in my shorts, t-shirt and slippers so I boiled some hot water and sipped as I prayed for a solution.  After 15 minutes I decided the door was not going to open and it would be pointless to wait here for help because no one would know I was missing. 

So again in somewhat drizzly 40 degree weather, in my current dress, no phone, and this time no money, I flagged down a cab and asked the driver to take me back to Rose’s house.  I kept the fact that I had no money to myself.  He asked if I was doing my morning run.  I said yes, sort of.  

Getting to Rose’s house a different gate man refused to call Rose so early in the morning but said, “you go ahead.”  Exasperated Rose again let me in, paid the cab driver, and let me use her computer.  This time I had figured out a way to access my account in order to find my landlord’s phone number.  Relieved, we made copies of the keys and hid them around my apartment so this would not happen again.  

Later that morning when I heard my neighbor stirring, I made sure I went out to introduce myself.  She was a kindly woman who seemed like she was in her 70s or 80s. She welcomed me.   

There is no doubt friends and contacts are needed in a city.  I wondered why God did not supernaturally open the door when I prayed.  Over the following days He was to reveal to me how He showed me the path to unlock the doors (Isa 22:22 given to me by Davee) and sent me the nice cab drivers during times it is difficult to flag down a cab (often difficult to find nice drivers), how He was guiding and using Rose and Jianmin, and how he was of course teaching me to be more careful. 

Although exasperated, Rose apologized for scolding me.  I told her that God often uses people to be provision for others and thankfully they were my provision.  It also gave Jianmin an opportunity to help me, which I think was satisfying to him since has felt bad about the way he acted toward me in the past.  I would not have wanted to bother him at all except that this was a desperate situation.  

I am now on course to improve on my Chinese, make further contacts, and learn more lessons.  I am alone but not alone.

Email Date Stamp: Saturday, December 5, 2015 6:21 AM

A few days after getting adjusted to living on my own in Shanghai for the first time, I found myself in another crisis.  It was evening on a rainy 40 degree weather day when i came home to a freezing cold apartment.  To my dismay there was no power. 

Falling into emergency mode again, I quickly sorted out my priorities in my mind.   

1)  pray & get prayer support from whoever I can

2)  get myself warm (fortunately the gas stove worked to I quickly boiled a kettle of water)

3) get help

4) figure out if I was in danger or just inconvenienced for the moment

5) make sense of everything else that needed to be done. 

Putting on several layers of clothes, I climbed under my heavy blankets and texted some friends with shaky hands.  After drinking the hot water to get myself warm, I figured out that if I could snuggle with the rest of the hot water by putting the kettle under my blankets.  I then called my landlord and Rose who was all too willing to pick me up and take me to her home.  I knew I would be OK. 

I had a great, much needed moment of reliance on my Lord Jesus.  Soon after, the power guy came and knocked.  “You’re the Japanese?” he said with a loud cheery voice.  It was comforting.  I found quickly that it was only my unit that was without power, and although all my fuses were on in the Breaker box, there was a Missing Connection under the panel that he had to take off.  It was not an easy or obvious fix. I did not understand his strong accent when he asked me questions.  “Waiguoren” he said about me jeeringly but not offensively, as two Chinese people walked by.  (Waiguoren or “foreigner” is a word which is probably the equivalent to “haole” in Hawaii.)  Well, he brought light and power back into my room with his skill, perseverance and cheery attitude which was all I could hope for on this rainy wintry night.

NEW FRIENDS

One young professional Cao Xiong, who said he was a believer but still seeking new life, was someone Rose wanted me to meet.  We found that though he had been going to fellowship for several years and being discipled but still had a lot of gaps in his understanding.   I gave him a 2 hour explanation of the Bible from beginning to end, and prayed together. 

On another day Rose introduced me to Daisy, another young professional who is also a skilled psychology lecturer.  Rose thought she was also seeking and needed to hear about Jesus.  

When asked about Christianity, Daisy said she had heard the basics, however when I explained what I thought were the basics, she said she never really heard that before.  She was ripe and ready and accepted Jesus and prayed with Rose and me. 

In spite of these happenings, I had missed being in Jesus presence recently and was longing for it.   Ginger had just called my attention to the “breaker anointing” taken from Micah 2 and I began asking Jesus to be my Breaker yesterday, as I am sure it was no coincidence that he used the circuit breakers in the fuse box to call my attention to him.

Email Date Stamp: Tuesday, December 8, 2015 11:14PM

In a few hours I will need to address 20 or so people, mostly young married couples.  When my pastor friend and “younger brother” Joe asked me to arrive a day early to address a “very small” group of youth, I was not clear if it was a youth group of 3 or 4, or a few young adults but I certainly did not expect 20 mostly married couples who do not speak any English.

I can’t say I am prepared right now, but am excited for the chance to be with them.  Please pray I can find a way to allow the Holy Spirit to speak to this very conservative group.

If you have any thoughts, please let me know.  Maybe by the time you get this, I will already be done.  The time of the meeting should be Wednesday morning at 3am, PST.

Email Date Stamp: Wednesday, December 9, 2015 6:33 PM

I arrived in the small city of Jiaxing where my “younger brother” Joe, who I have classified as an outwardly very pleasant man with a sing song animated quality to his voice, and I met in person for the first time.  After arriving in China I received his request for me to come to his town of Jiaxing a day early to meet with a few youth.  I agreed.  As the days went by I heard very little details about what I would have to do, not to mention what my schedule be like and where and in what condition I was going to live in.  I quickly discerned that adaptability was his strength and administration was not.  This impression was enforced when he never answered my request for a location to meet him at the train station where he was supposed to pick me up.  When I called him from the train station, he just yelled at me over the phone, “no, don’t go to the cab station, just wait there!”  “Wait where?,” I yelled back over the noise.   Fortunately adaptability is also my strength and I decided not to worry about it.  Eventually after finding each other, and taking me to his “farming village,” a 20 minute drive away, I found it to be a very livable top floor 3rd story apartment with all the basic necessities including a good heater and warm blanket, a hard but not rock solid bed, and a clean enough private bathroom.  The nearby river and surrounding old and abandoned buildings made it very quiet and peaceful for study. 

The most Joe could describe to me about my tasks over the next 4 days was that he hoped I could give the message at tonight’s small group meeting consisting of 20 or so people, mostly married couples, and then be a key witness at a wedding on Friday and another wedding on Saturday, which included the role of blessing the couple and reading scripture, all to be done in Chinese.  I told him, I hope his expectations aren’t too high because I am not sure I can speak that much Chinese.  He said, “of course my expectations are high,” and “of course you can speak Chinese!” 

I emailed you at that moment and thankfully received from a few of you the message of “His love.”  I decided to use John 14 as a base to launch from.  Joe’s wife Ya Qing, a very impressive head pastor of the church where we are all living at cooked a wonderful dinner and filled me in on more details for the evening.  I presented her with scarves from Helen, and presented their 10 year old son Joel, a very amicable young guy with some puzzles from Denise.  They received the gifts with gratitude and graciousness.  

The group was very receptive and I was surprised that I could actually find most of the words to express what I was trying to say, and the group helped me to find the words I didn’t know.  I tried to allow them to feel the Presence in new ways, to know He is IN us gives us confidence and opens up to all kinds of possibilities for connecting with Him.  The connection to scripture was heartfelt and sharing was warm and open.  Men and women all participated and shared their feelings toward Him as we read and prayed.  For me it was a landmark in my Chinese studies.  Looking back even half a year ago I would not have been able to do this. 

Last, last week during our meeting with Cao Xiong and Daisy in Shanghai, Rose said she discovered new things as I explained the basic Truth to them.  Over subsequent meetings with Wang and Gang (the couple who I met and prayed with a year ago to accept Him), and with Wen Fang successful single business woman who Rose thought was suitable to hear the Truth, I marvelled at the way Rose asserted herself in order to weave Him in to our conversations.  She corrected their concepts of religion and explained ours is about a relationship, not requirements.  Even her explanation of sin was really quite good.   I was so glad to partner with her and extend His love into her community of contacts. 

I have a day of rest and am concerned with a mild cold coming on.  It has been raining not stop over the past 24 hours or so and the temperature thankfully is only in the low 50’s.  Appreciate you all and your contributions!

Email Date Stamp: Friday, December 11, 2015 1:20 AM

It started with a mild tickle in my throat, and then a definite consistently dry throat, and then finally I knew I needed to stay in bed and lock myself in my room for a day.  For the first time here in China I have experienced a throbbing headache on top of what I hope is just a mild cold.  The mark for unhealthy air quality in the USA is a PM of 60.  Today’s air quality measurement in my small farming town near the ocean is a PM of 269-297 (the 259-268 you see below is an average of many types of air quality measurements).

It is considered heavily polluted, with a national recommendation to wear a mask.  I fortunately brought mine from the US, but unfortunately did not wear it when I was strongly coaxed out of bed (where I should have spent the day with my cold) to go to a pre-wedding feast for Ya Qing’s brother’s wedding which I will participate in tomorrow.

Now my head is throbbing and will take a moment to ask for your prayers.  The great thing is while carpooling, I met an outgoing vibrant woman slightly younger than I named Bing Xing who owns 3 clothing stores in town. It was easy to hit it off with her.  She and her family attend Joe’s church.

Yesterday in spite of my impending cold, in the perseveringly relational spirit of Ron and Gayle Tanaka I asked Joe and Ya Qing his wife if I could pray for them.  “OK!” they said standing awkwardly in my room and quickly bowing their heads and closing their eyes to pray.  I said, “no, I mean maybe we can sit down.”  We eventually settled in the dank kitchen hall on the ground floor and sat on the narrow horse benches, the closest thing to a seating area we could find. 

“You have had a lot of difficult things happen recently and I just want to see if I could support you,” I opened.  “No, no!,” Joe exclaimed I only want to talk about happy things!  No sad things!”  I knew what he had shared me online a month ago was something he only told his wife and me, and it was my

mission to help them process a tragedy which I am not free to share with you all at this time.  After being refused several times over the next 4 minutes, I decided to think about giving up.  “I just want to support you, that’s all,” I said.  It seemed they didn’t want me to leave and continued on. “These things happen to people,” Joe said, “we are pastors, we need to take care of people so we cannot let them know these kinds of things.  This is the way our life is!  We are poor farmers.  Everyone has hardships.  We need to persevere.” 

“I just want you to know this is what I am here for.  There is a larger Body that wants to care for you,” I said.  “I think I can just find hobbies and keep myself happy, like learning English, like meeting you” Joe said, “I don’t have to think about this thing.” I drew a picture that I learned from Susan Highleyman years ago.  It was a picture of an addicted man who refused drop into a hole representing the depths of the hurt, but instead found other things to numb the pain.

Joe was the first to shed a tear.  Hiding it he stood up to slice an orange. I also got teary eyed, and then Ya Qing.  We talked for the next 2 hours about how they process things as a couple.  We took turns sharing what we thought so no one person dominated.  It was a healthy time.  “I understand your purpose,” Ya Qing said, “you share His love with those who don’t know Him but also help people like us.”  

Unfortunately that was the last happy conversation I had before catching this cold.  I thought I would tell you briefly what is going on while asking you to pray for my recovery.  Please keep me and them in your prayers. 

I woke up at 8am after a great night of rest. Could have used more but was told we need to leave at 10:30.  In my mind I was thinking we would arrive slightly after 10:30 for a rehearsal for what I was told was a very small informal wedding at someone’s house.  Then at 12pm we would start the ceremony, and then have to hang around as much as possible to mingle before having to take my train ride back to Shanghai.  Anticipating a full and stressful day, I asked if I could sleep a little more to make sure I was giving my cold adequate attention. 

At 9am Joe emailed me the order of service for today’s wedding ceremony.  It included two Scripture passages that I was to read in Chinese which I had made sure I practiced ahead of time.  Ya Qing whose brother was getting married today said I could do this in Chinese and say a blessing in English.  Upon seeing the order of service, I noticed the wedding vows, exchange of rings, and declaration were all spelt out for me in Chinese.  Wanting to make sure I knew what was going on, I romanized the Chinese characters just in case I was expected to read some of it aloud.  

At 10am Joe came up to check if I understood the service.  He said he would in fact have me say me all of those elements he had spelt out but he would do the main part, so not to worry.  I was glad I had romanized it and was up for the challenge of learning these words in Chinese since we would have plenty of time this morning to practice with the bride and groom.  Joe said he would wait for me as I changed my clothes.  I had already put on my black pants, my two undershirts, my sweater zipped to the top, and my collared shirt buttoned to the top and a sweater over it like I was taught was the proper way to dress in China during the winter.    Joe with his “anything goes” personality said, “you can wear that…but… maybe I’ll give you something else.”  He brought me a collard priestly shirt.  “You can’t be too causal at these things,” he said. 

Noticing he was a bit antsy I hurried to change and get in the car.  Hearing his mild-tempered wife yelling at him over the phone, we sped away.  “I’m sorry I made you late,” I said.  “No, no, not your fault!” He said, muttering, “so early!  we never start weddings so early.”

When we arrived to the village many smiled at me and welcomed me.  Walking very quickly, Joe disappeared into the crowd.  We came upon an area where a gathering of about a hundred people were huddled around the door to a room.  Inside the room was a small brass band of 10, along with other relatives.  Center stage was the fully dressed bride and groom and an open spot for the minister. 

Joe quickly pushed his way in and assumed the spot and without pause said that we would start.  Saying but one more sentence he announced that his friend Carolyn from the US would now pray over the ceremony.  Still in shock I dropped my backpack and coat to the concrete floor and shouted with a loud enough voice to be heard by the 100 people outside, “good morning everyone!  Please excuse me, I will use English to pray.”  After praying I said, “I will now read the passage in Chinese.”  Fortunately I had practiced this.  After finishing, I shot Joe a glance to take over.  He motioned to continue.  I ended up awkwardly reading my romanized version of the vows, exchanging of rings, and declaration, barely able to comprehend what I was saying. 

I looked at the bride, asking her if she would take this woman to be his wife.  “I do” the groom replied.  Mortified, I looked at the bride again and asked if she would take this man to be her husband.  “I do,” she said.  Starting the vows, I wondered, “do Chinese people hold both hands and face each other?  I know they are much more conservative than we are in the US.”  They did not hold hands.  I proceeded.  “I ___take you ____ to be my lawfully wedded wife.”  He did not repeat after me.  Did they do it the same here?  Did I read the romanized words correctly?  I finished the vows feeling very awkward about the whole thing. 

Joe finally stepped in and gave an ever so short message:  “It’s a day to celebrate, eat, see old friends, relatives, have a great time!” he said.  Next, Carolyn will bless the couple.  Surprised again, I excused my lack of language skills and blessed them in English. 

“I totally blotched their wedding ceremony!” I told Joe, “I thought we would have time to practice.”  “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault,” Joe grumbled, “I don’t know what they were thinking.  We never have weddings this early in the morning.” 

Since the morning went by so quickly I was able to get some rest in the afternoon before my train back to Shanghai. 

On my way out 3 ladies stopped me to converse.  This is what I heard:

Lady 1: Hi, welcome, you are so good!

Carolyn:  ‘thank you!”

Lady 2:  We will see you tonight?

Carolyn:  I will go back home this afternoon.

Lady 2:  Where do you x$*#^?

Carolyn (guessing):  Originally from Los Angeles but I am staying in Shanghai.

Lady 2:  Oh Shanghai. So you #$*%&#@)$*?

Carolyn (having no idea what she said):   Yes

Lady 3:  You are so terrific, you can understand everything we say!

Lady 2:  Awesome!

My cold is suppressed with some Chinese medicine I took, but I hope to get some good rest back in Shanghai.

I will be back next weekend to give another message to the group of 20 where Joe said the brothers and sisters would like to continue to learn about this thing I talked about, and the Sunday sermon the next day (something I still don’t know if I can do but nevertheless am committed to). 

Email Date Stamp: Tuesday, December 15, 2015 12:17 PM

Rose has filled my schedule with contacts who are in need of hearing truth.  Tonight 3 young women were very ripe for hearing it.  I gave them a very complete 90 minute explanation that they had not heard before and all readily came into the family.  Rose will begin to meet with them as a small group.

Earlier today we met with a young successful woman in her 40’s was willing to say a basic, “if you are there, I want to know you.”   

Another who I have not been able to find time with yet is having a hard time understanding the manual. We will meet soon.  

Up until now Rose and I have had 8 meetings with 13 different people who she believes are ripe.  For all of them this was the first time they heard the basic story. I am having a hard time remembering names and who is who.

I have decided to invite my Beijing business partner down to help me translate (live) my Sunday message.  This frees me up from having to write everything down ahead of time.  The challenge is she is not that familiar with the terminologies used.  Her mother is part of the family but she is not yet though she is open and willing to believe.  I think this will be a great opportunity for her. 

My cold is almost gone but it is hard to tell, since the PM in Shanghai was at 350 today, and it has been in the hazardous range for 3 days now. I wore my face mask everywhere, even to bed, and have been caused to miss out on my daily run for almost a week now.  Please ask for better conditions for us soon.

Email Date Stamp: Thursday, December 17, 2015 2:28 AM
Subject: A Eulogy: Bartholomew Byrd 2010-2015

December 17 (Dec 16 noon, US time)

December 17 (Dec 16 noon, US time)

Today I got news that my cockatiel, “Bartholomew Byrd” passed away.  I am spending the day reflecting on her life.  There may be pet psychologists among you who say I am humanizing the life of an animal too much.  Whether or not this is true, and whether or not you read this makes no difference to me.  It is the life of my pet, and I write this eulogy because to me, reflection gives meaning.   

The life of a pet is so short, and the life of a small pet, particularly a bird, is held so fragily together by our care for them.   The significance of who they are, is who we make them to be.  I was privileged to have Bart as a part of our family.  

 Bart was born in the spring of 2010.  Since her actual birthdate was unclear, we celebrated it on May 5, 2010.  I got Bart from Mrs. Harada in May of 2011.  Since I had just gotten my first cockatiel Obadiah in February 2011, it seemed good and fitting to find her a friend.  

She was named Bart because I thought she was a boy.  I also originally thought Obadiah was a boy but later found from the vet they were both girls.  By then it was too late to change their names.  

I initially called Bart “Stealth” (a suggestion from Lori Kodama) because she was always trying to escape her cage.  When I got home Obadiah would report with loud chirps that Bart was missing.  I would always find her in the same part of the house.  Eventually I kept the cage open for the birds to come and go.  Bart quickly found that it was better to stay at home than go anywhere else in or outside of the house.  

Bart was not socialized very well.  During her first years of life, when trying to get Bart to “step up,” on me, she would back away and ferociously extend her beak to say, “I’m going to bite you first before you ever get me to step up on your finger.”  When Obadiah initially extended her friendship with joyful hops and chirps, Bart acted with animosity.  After this Obadiah ignored her and preferred to stay with me most of the time.  Obadiah always asked to be picked up.  Bart who was actually 6 months older than Obadiah began her road to socialization by following everything Obadiah did.  As the years went by, following Obadiah’s cue, Bart also began to call to be picked up, realizing if she never did, she would be left quite alone and lonely.

Obadiah learned to tolerate Bart but always drew her limits when Bart tried to follow her on to my same right shoulder and huddle by her in her favorite spot.  In disdain toward Bart who was getting into her personal space, Obadiah would peck at her and grumpily move to my other shoulder, nipping me on the ear to show that she was also angry at me for allowing Bart to get her way. 

Once I had Kristin Caliendo housesit and birdsit for me.  Kristin provided a safe place for Bart by talking to her and encouraging her.  Bart responded by coming to sit on her, puffing her feathers in a relaxed fashion and lifting up one leg to rest like a flamingo.  This became one of the ways we knew Bart was at ease.  

Obadiah often bullied Bart but Bart was no push over.  She eventually learned how to get what she wanted and how to stand her ground, eating the part of the millet she wanted to eat by blocking Obadiah out with her body.  

Although unsocialized, Bart was very gentle in nature.  She usually resisted being touched, but when she was touched, she warmed up quickly.  When she allowed herself to be hugged, she completely relaxed her body into my hands, never ever trying to bite.  She allowed her wings to be clipped and nails to be cut with ease, as if to say, “I trust you.”   

In the Spring of 2015, I came to Obadiah’s giddy chirps.  The two of them were suddenly collaborating together, tearing pieces of newspaper and creating something in the otherwise bare floor of the cage.  What I feared was true.  Bart was getting ready to lay an egg.  The vet had warned me about girl birds saying it was dangerous, particularly if they laid too many eggs per season.

The next morning I saw the egg.  I have to say I was quite moved by its beauty.  On the following day as I feared, there was another one.   The oddest most profound moment came when somehow from inside the cage, one or both of the birds brought one egg outside and placed it in front of where I could easily see it.  Bart actually continued to push it toward me.  “How did you do that?” I exclaimed to her.  I had been careful not to touch her egg but now ventured to place it on a make-shift nest I constructed with an old t-shirt and a plastic cover.  Later that day the egg was taken out of my make shift nest and put in the same place before me.  Baffled, I put it back in the nest.  This time, the egg was not only taken out, but the whole plastic cover I used for the nest was dragged over the egg.  “I think she’s are giving it to you,” a friend said.  I was profoundly moved by this giving of first fruits.  

After a short while when I saw now 10 eggs I realized that was too many for one bird to lay in this short amount of time.  Obadiah had started to lay her own eggs.  A cockatiel egg if fertilized should take 30 days to hatch.  When the first “clutch” or batch of 14 eggs in total were laid, both birds took turns sitting on them devotedly during all hours, giving up meals and sleep.  Knowing they were unfertilized and thus worried about their behavior I took them to the vet who recommended quite an expensive shot of Luprin (hormone) to get them to stop.   After the 30 days were over, Obadiah spent a day laying her chin on the bottom of the cage, depressed.  She realized they were not going to hatch.  Bart however proceeded to try to defy nature and produced more eggs.   

There was an aspect of Bart’s behavior that perhaps led to her demise.  I noticed Over Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies in her when she would lock into a fixed action and need to be snapped out of it.  Sometimes she would chirp loudly and irritatingly like a smoke detector with a failing battery.  At other times she would bow her head and pace back and forth until I told her to stop.

In the end she became addicted to laying eggs and to sitting on them endlessly in spite of shots and in spite of Obadiah periodically coaxing her to move off her eggs to get a meal.  When one egg cracked or was taken away, she would lay another.  We thus decided to leave even the old eggs in the cage, but giving her a good bath after an egg cracked to make sure she would not get infected.  

The time came when I had to leave them in my parents’ care again in order to make one of my usual long trips to China.   It became hard to constantly watch for Bart’s addictive behavior, so when her feathers got soiled with broken eggs, she got quickly soiled in her own mess.  

Bart died at noon on Wednesday, December 16.  She has left behind her role model and friend Obadiah.  

I thank God for the life of Bartholomew Byrd.  I thank my parents for their loving care for my birds over my many, many long absences.  

Yours truly,

Carolyn

My second visit to Jiaxing this weekend proved to be significantly less stressful than the first.  Deciding to invite my Beijing business parter Helen Zhang to translate my Sunday morning message proved to be a good idea, or at least one that helped me to relax and be able to operate in my normal gifting.   I shared the message using Chinese as much as I could (thank you Lisa Hsu for helping me with this!), and then transitioned into the heavier content portion of the message by asking Helen to translate so I could let loose and be myself.

It was Helen’s first time operating as a translator and I could tell right off that this had been a dormant gift waiting to come out and shine.  It was also her first time hearing and understanding the words of Truth and I was glad to give her the chance to hear them and let the truth sink in as she spoke the words.  As we rehearsed it was apparent she was being very careful to ask and understand what I meant since so many concepts and words were new to her.  She was a very quick study and did an excellent and professional job. The congregation was also so responsive and willing to identify with the words that were spoken.  

I was quite surprised when a few special requests came from people over 70 years to ask me to talk to Dad about healing their bodies.   I was even more surprised when they were healed.  All involved lack of movement or severe pain. I was shocked when they jumped for joy and were amazed that they could move in ways they couldn’t before.  The first one who previously lacked movement in her arm was so relieved from the constant pain it caused, that she gave me a big hug.  The second said the pain in her back, waist and arm was significantly better.  I wanted to go after it until the pain was zero but they rushed me off to lunch.  

After lunch there was a long Christmas program, somewhat of a variety show.  After an hour and a half or so, I moved to stand in the back of the room where I suddenly felt the Presence fall.  It was so heavy, I had to close my eyes to get my bearings.  I stood there enjoying Him.

Later in the afternoon another request came from a senior woman who apparently had a stroke because the whole right side of her body could not move.  Two people escorted her to help her to sit down in front of me.  I asked for clarification and asked her to move her leg as much as it could.  It didn’t move.  Then she told me she could not squeeze her right hand.  We talked to Dad and after she received from Him, her hand had feeling and moved.  She moved her leg and then a big grin appeared on her face.  She stood up by herself and jumped for joy and gave me a bear hug.  We all praised Dad and the family of the woman heaped Christmas candy and gifts into the car I was riding in.  

I have never had that happen before.  The few times I have talked to Dad for this kind of healing and seen results, was clearly because the receiver had the faith and/or anointing to be able to receive.  I have no doubt this was the case with the people in this small farming village.  It was a blessing to talk to Dad with them and hear the intensity of their cries.  

In these villages, I hear, it is common for one person in the family to follow the Son and for the rest to come along, though not quite understanding or embracing the belief in its entirety.  I guessed that with these few people who were healed today, they were the key in the family.

The problem was my friend Joe did not seem to feel any joy or wonderment when those things happened.  Were they too common for him or did he not understand what happened?  I don’t know but I will process him in the future.  

I was glad to see Joe’s wife Ya Qing again who I find very genuine, down to earth, and graceful.  It’s a pity my Chinese is still not good enough to understand most of the small talk around me.  I suppose I will have to live here for several years with a good teacher in order to understand these most commonly used slang phrases.  

For now I am grateful for my current growth, my translator friend Helen, and the grace from Dad for this weekend.

Blessings,

Carolyn

 

My last week week was extremely full.  Before returning to Beijing, my business partner Helen whom I invited to Shanghai and Jiaxing to translate my message said she had no objections to the Gospel, except she feared she would not be devoted enough.  After talking through some issues we prayed and she invited the Lord into her life.  A week later when back in Beijing she spoke of the difficulty in believing.  It just so happened to also be a very difficult season for her, creating the perfect storm and opportunity to invite the Lord into the situation.  She experienced Him in a very meaningful and tangible way.  After praying and telling her I saw Jesus hugging her from behind she said, “that’s strange, while I was closing my eyes I actually felt what you just described, but I didn’t know what that was.”  

I have a Chinese student in Shanghai, actually a young professional named Rebecca who has been learning English from me online for about 6 weeks.  She had wanted to meet me in person and take me out for lunch.  Our schedules finally matched on my last weekend there.  I had no idea what a blessing she would be to me.  When she discovered I was a Christian she really wanted to introduce me to her friend who is also a Christian and who had shared the Lord with her during a difficult time in her life.  Although she was willing to accept the God’s love for her and the basic Gospel message, she did not really consider herself a Christian and she found that after a year and a half of diligently studying the bible on her own, she gave up because her friend and the books she bought could not provide any reasonable answer explanation for the many conflicts she came across.  We spent two afternoons unpacking this issues until she quite satisfied.  She asked if we could go to church together and despite how difficult it was to find an international English speaking church for us both to go to, she pushed forward to find one at a reasonable time and place.  I was to find out that it was her first time ever going to a worship service.  I was thrilled to experience it with her.  Rebecca became a very special young friend to me.  When she discovered my age, (a good 16 years older than her), I quickly became her older sister and she my younger sister.  

It has been a trip full of both challenges and miracles.  All in all among the people I met on this trip, 5 people heard the Gospel explained in detail for the first time and prayed to begin a relationship with Jesus:  杜风 (Du Feng), 许家馨 (Xu Jia Xin), 王燕君”Green”   (Wáng Yàn Jun), 陈晨Chénchén, and 张培燕”Helen.”  They all happen to be professional women between the ages of 27-35.

There were 2 who had already believed in some form but needed further explanation and guidance in how to understand the bible, and how to process their current issues with the Lord:  Rebecca (in her 30’s) and Cao Xiong (in his 30’s)

There were two who heard for the first time but could not believe at the time, though very open to continuing the friendship and dialogue:  周毓蓉 (Zhou Yu Long), 王文放 (Wang Wen Fang).   

Several who are struggling along and though having prayed to begin a relationship with Jesus, but who are not willing to embrace the faith entirely yet and need our prayers: 谢健(Amos), 王丹侠 (Wand Dan Xia), 田媛 (Tian Yuan)，Wang and Gang (in their 60’s who previously prayed with me when struggling with cancer, once healed, seemed to have moved on to other belief systems, not being able to connect that healing experience with God).  

It was my first time living in my own apartment in China, my first time leading a small group in Chinese, my first time performing a wedding in Chinese, my first time attempting to preach in Chinese, and my first time personally praying for people who were healed one after another.  

It was my first time experiencing so many desperate moments within such a short time: getting locked out of my home with no cell phone, money, jacket, or shoes; having a power outage in 40 degree wet evening weather; catching a cold while dealing with fierce pollution; and losing my beloved cockatiel Bartholomew Byrd.  Thank you for your prayers and kind responses!

Despite these crisis the harvest was more plentiful than what I have experienced on previously trips.  Rose who is bubbling over with the Lord is telling everyone she knows about her recent baptism and new found faith, having arranged the large portion of my meetings, told me, “there are so many sheep, and you are going back to the US.”  There were indeed too many deep conversations with people to keep tabs on everyone and their growth on a consistent basis during this trip.  We decided to take steps toward forming a group the next time around.  

All in all again, an amazing trip.  Thank you for your love, and prayers.  

Blessings & Happy New Year,

Carolyn